Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Goodbye Loser

Posted: September 20, 2013 by generationgbooks in Music

Elton_John_-_Goodbye_Yellow_Brick_RoadI’ve spoken, rather unfondly, of my jackass second ex. I made a very serious error in judgment that cost me 2 1/2 years I would love to get back, but hey, bitching about it won’t change it. There were some truly awful things: his alcoholism, the unemployment and subsequent financial dependence upon me for his excesses, his drug usage, the emotional abuse, the physical abuse, being spat upon, punched in the head, ashtrays thrown at you, his decision that despite doing jack shit normally that bathing was too much to do(which in turn resulted in the last year of that relationship being completely celibate), among other fun things. But I digress. There were some good things that he brought into my life. Seriously. I realize that starting this off with that sentence and then rolling into this, that people may think I am being sarcastic. No. He was responsible for my discovery of comics, anime, Steve Winwood, Pokemon, Greyhound bus trips cross country (no joke), Pinky & The Brain, Jerry Springer, The Electric Light Orchestra, and last but certainly not least- Elton John. But not the entire career. Namely, just the one album above, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.

The first Christmas together was 1997, a year after my mom passed. My family was still a fucking mess. I was only 6 months into this at this point, so I still believed in love and all that other idealistic crap. Again, grief does weird things to people and their sensibilities. In some instances, such as this, it makes us stupid. I asked him over and over again what he wanted for Christmas. He requested the Steve Winwood box set, which I found. He also wanted me to find the album that had an Elton john song on it that he was obsessed with. That song was “Funeral For A Friend/Love Lies Bleeding”I did some research and figured out that Goodbye Yellow Brick Road was the album. I ordered it through my friend Mike’s website, as well as the Winwood box set. He squealed like the little girl, pink-bra-hiding-hoarder that he was, and put Elton on first, since it was only one CD, and the Winwood was 3 CD’s. I had to pee like a motherfucker and wasn’t happy that the first song on the album was 11 minutes long.  I sat through it, but the moment it ended I ran like a crack addict chasing a lighter down the sidewalk. So I truly did not absorb it for the masterpiece that it is. I listened to the rest of it when I was done. I loved “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road”, “Grey Seal”, “I’ve Seen That Movie Too”, “Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting”, “Social Disease”, and “Harmony”I did NOT like Bennie and the Jets (sorry Felicia!) and despite its popularity for the Marilyn Monroe subject matter, I also did not dig Candle In The Wind. I ended up listening to that album with him repeatedly over the next couple of years of discontent, and I grew to love it. More than Tumbleweed Connection, which was my favorite album for years. I finally had enough of the farce I was living and ended it on V-Day, 2000. He made it easier by admitting that he was cheating on me with his best friend’s girlfriend. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, and my love of it, stayed constant and I have always had a copy of it on CD. However, i never had a copy of it on vinyl. In 2003, I decided it was time to own it on vinyl. 

Oddly enough, I had a negotiation going with some asswipe on Ebay at the time, for the album. It was, supposedly, in perfect condition, all four records, the gatefold, and with the poster it came with! I was thrilled, but wait!  Ebay=E coli.  You remember the Boy George mug story? Yeah, I got banned around the same time, so I never got the deal through to the finish line with the asswipe I was negotiating with (Asswipe seems mean, but if you read the chauvinistic, badly spelled, and barely coherent sentences in the emails he sent me, you would not question the terminology). So it was off to “The River of Despair” (sorry, Layne, I have used your song in a context with true evil).  I ordered a copy and paid $13.74 for it, but it the records were cracked. All of them. The gatefold looked like someone had broken it over their knee, kind of like Michael Douglas did in the movie Falling Down.  I sent it back. It took almost two months to get my card credited. The seller was a world-class jag. The next seller on Amazon sent me a copy of it that was perfect- except it was missing one of the records! That one went back. I figured, maybe the third time was the charm. The last seller charged my card, and I never even got the vinyl. So “The River of Despair” lived up to its name in my repeated attempts to get this record from them. Nope.

I next combed the record stores near me. I had no luck. My fucking friends kept saying Amazon. Other friends of mine told me Just because I worked for them, didn’t mean I was giving them my business online. I probably should have done it, but I really did not want to go down that, well, yellow hick road.  I tried Medazz, but no luck. Orbit didn’t have it. Oddly enough, I found it through someone on! I was on the boards talking about classic rock with “Claricella” (her name was Clarice and she threw on a suffix of ella, as in “Electric Barbarella”, in case you were wondering) and she mentioned she had a copy of it, plus PayPal. PayPal is another blog post, probably on my weeks-dormant other blog site, of things I will never fucking understand. I told her about my horrible luck, and she had two copies. Her ex had left his there when he moved out, so she offered to sell it to me. I trusted this girl, and would you believe she didn’t dick me over? The vinyl album took weeks to get to me, but when it did, it was perfect. Even more eerie about this? Her ex’s name? Steven. I rest my case on the universe having a sense of humor.

  1. Dylan Marx says:

    OMG well if this is the stuff you write drinking that trenatre red wine I’m gonna buy a case of it for you and just sit back and watch the fireworks lol sorry if my horrible renditions of benny an the jets didnt help but spur odd memories hope you feel better darling.

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